Being in prison can change a man. The sweet charms of freedom you never even knew you had become sharp barbs of despair once you’re thrown in a dank, concrete vault away from life’s pleasures. The simple joy of waking at the crack of noon on a Sunday to step outside and inhale the faint, wistful scent of the the day’s first barbeque in the distance becomes a mournful memory when you’re locked up in the clink. No longer can you plop down in front of the computer for untold hours worth of Warcraft and porn. The delightful taste of Hot Pockets ceases being at your beck-and-call whenever you can muster the energy to lift yourself up from the couch and trudge over to the microwave. Even your every-other-day shower becomes clear for the luxury it was. No, in prison you are faced with the stark, dispassionate truths of a new reality: a scenic toilet-side view, a tattered copy of Librarian Professional Monthly as your only source of entertainment, food so bad that your own stumbling efforts look like culinary masterpieces, and communal showers that always end you with feigning screaming insanity as the guards drag you away to avoid either your face or your asshole being repeatedly pummeled, or both! Yes, prison can certainly change a man and the assessment he has of life’s priorities and everyday pleasures.
Thankfully, I was not in prison. Rather, I was busy lazily not doing the comic for five consecutive months as I tried constantly to determine what else I should be doing with all the time that I pour into it. I usually contemplated this while stretched out on the couch watching late-night TV. And there was a lot of sleeping on it, wonderful sleep. Sometimes I even dedicated hours and hours of thought to this problem while scouring the Internet for news on the latest Doctor Who episodes. Well, I did manage to intermittently dawdle with some fictional prose exploits of the comic’s characters (again), focus a bit more on work especially after getting a raise, start kicking myself into exercising a bit more, go on some groovy vacations and spend more quality time with my cat. But I can’t honestly say I made major, sweeping life changes that I’m happy with. It’s been more a gradual, G-R-A-D-U-A-L incline that I’m continuing to mountaineer. That’s why I wish I could say, “BOOM! I’m sorry for vanishing again; comic’s back!” It’s more like, “I’m going to strive to trickle out a few more comics than I have been, but there will still likely be various gaps of time between updates.” It’s frustrating, because I still love telling this story and there’s a lot more to tell. It’s just so damned time-consuming. So, how have you all been?